Silent Night
by Brutal Let Down
Summary: "I'm not talking about this with you." Nick stated sternly, his voice just slightly rising out of a whisper to show his seriousness. "But you're gonna." Ellis said gently, maybe more gently than he'd spoken before, as if he were approaching a frightened animal. Damn, was he good. Nellis, MaleXMale, smut, don't like, don't read.


I'm having second thoughts about this one. :I Please, if you feel like something was off, PLEASE tell me. I really feel like this could possibly improve somewhere.

**P.S.** The name changed a thousand times.

**(BLD)**

A cold wind sent eerie howls through the abandoned house, making the white sheets on the old furniture rustle. If the wind would subside for a moment, the skittering of mice could be heard, the small vermin running along the rotting wooden floors as they heard intruders. The moon created enough light that when the large heavy wooden front door was opened with a jostle and shove, an elongated shadow spread down the front hall, illuminating the figures of three shivering, battered, and broken survivors.

Nick was the first inside, quickly entering with his rifle at the ready, searching for any danger within the shadows of the ominous grand house. He was silent as he made quick work of inspecting each darkened room with a slender flashlight. The downstairs was empty, save for a couple spiders and rodents, and Nick found himself ascending a dark staircase that creaked painfully with each step. It made him cringe.

Ellis had taken to the living room, relieved beyond belief to find a fire place. He set in front of the mouth, quickly rolling back the metal curtain from the recess, and slid his book bag off his arms. He retrieved his flash light from one of the pockets and held it in between his teeth as he worked. His fingers had gone numb from cold some time ago, but he could just barely make out the bulky masses of wood chunks they'd collected ever since winter had rolled around.

Rochelle was the last to enter, quickly shutting the door behind her. She dug into her large winter coat and pulled out a flash light. Floorboards gently creaked beneath her as she slowly made her way from the front entrance to the living room, into the dining room, passed the stairs, and finally into the kitchen. She sighed into her hands, a motion both to express her exasperation and to warm her hands. She rubbed them together the best she could with the flashlight still in her hands and soon started opening cupboards.

Nick had found four bedrooms in all, one small room down stairs and three other, larger rooms upstairs. In the hall, there was a bathroom and in the ceiling, in front of the second room, was the entrance to an attic. The master bedroom had its own bathroom, though it wouldn't do them any good with no running water. He trudged back down the steps, trying to find areas on the steps that would create the least amount of noise when-

_KRINSH_

"Ah, fuck!"

The third step, right in the middle, snapped and sent Nick's foot right through it.

A small, but growing, flame sat alight in the center of a pile of wood, carefully laid out by Ellis. He was just about to lean forward and blow a few times when he heard the crash.

He leapt to his feet, not necessarily running, but jogged to Nick. As he came close, he took in the scene, realizing what had happened and let the smallest of grins appear on his face.

"You gonna help me, or what?" Nick snapped, shaking an arm out at him in a gesture for him to grab on to it as he tried to regain his balance. Ellis quickly stepped up the few steps to reach Nick and grabbed hold, helping Nick hoist himself out of the splintering wood, bits and pieces crumbling apart as the older man shook his leg free.

"This place is so fucking old its falling apart." He murmured angrily, readjusting his dark coat as he came down from the last three steps.

In his short absence, Ellis' small flame had grown, and he soon bent into the book bag to retrieve some more broken down planks of wood they'd found near a construction site. Ever since winter began, Ellis had been on fire duty, carrying the designated bag to be filled only with wood and a few other things, a can of food and a small bag of ammo-just in case Ellis were to be separated from the main ammo supply- and carried it with him where ever they went.

Nick sighed, setting his rifle down on the table that sat low in the center of the room. Its surface was decorated with vines and flowers then carved into the wood all along the edge. Nick rolled his eyes at it. How appropriate.

When he was younger, too young to protest, he'd be at his grandparent's house right around this time of the year, _for the holidays._

The small wooden carved furniture reminded him of the wooden rocker that sat in the corner of his grandmother's knitting room.

_How appropriate._

Rochelle came into the living room, unfortunately, empty handed. She sat on the sheeted couch with a sigh, not at all concerned when a plume of dust rose up around her. Nick stepped back an inch and scowled at the sheet. He'd rather sit on the ground.

In fact, with a quick glance at the growing fire, he went to the side not occupied by the mechanic and gently came down with a soft groan of strain then brought his hands out in front of him, letting the fire warm his frozen digits.

Ellis readjusted the dark toboggan atop his head. When the wind had started to pick up, he realized his trusty hat was doing little to no with protecting his sensitive ears from the chill. He'd swapped the hat for the warmer head gear, though that didn't mean he'd gotten rid of it. His trucker hat sat in one of his back pack pockets, right next to his bullshifters shirt that had been torn almost completely in half by a Hunter.

A silence grew around them, only barely breaking that barrier was the soft crackling of the fire, and the wind that still howled viciously just beyond the walls of the house. The quiet that encased them was now the norm. Ever since a few weeks ago, talking and trying to enjoy themselves while they held up in a safe place seemed…_futile_.

Not even after the day it happened, no one talked about it. It was too painful for discussion, let alone talk about how that changed their roles in the group. But everyone knew how the roles had changed, and that Nick was now in charge. Nick had imagined it would've been a more humorous affair, making the other two do useless errands while he sat back and watched, and the others would argue and complain about his unfairness.

But, when the worst had actually happened, all the humor in it vanished, and the others obeyed him, wordlessly. It was how _he_ would've wanted it to be.

Thinking about it now, it made Nick's brows furrow. He wasn't thrilled by the prospect of leaving the fire for a cold room to gain solitude… but he needed it.

He stood with a sigh after a few more minutes of warmth, silently stepping out of the living room. He got to the steps and decidedly took them more apprehensively, and he'd been so focused on the task, he hadn't noticed Ellis had gotten up and followed him.

When a second set of feet were heard ascending the steps, Nick barely looked over his shoulder at him, inwardly sighing. He didn't need the predictable pep talk Ellis was sure to give him. He _knew_ he shouldn't blame himself, if only for selfish and narcissistic reasons, but he did.

At the top of the landing, Nick quickly turned, facing the smaller man at an angle, and watched his slightly startled face, trying to conform back into a look of confidence and concern. Nick scowled.

"I'm going to bed. Don't bother me." He clearly stated, leaving no room for argument as he swiftly turned down a hall, having been walking in that direction even before he was done talking.

He could hear perfectly how Ellis huffed, turned, and shuffled back down the steps.

Good.

He chose the master bed room, the more spacious room, and the farthest away from the others. Only bad part about that was it was also the coldest. The room had a queen sized mattress on a box spring bed. The bed was bare, no blankets or sheets, which only irritated Nick more. He checked the closet next to the bathroom and was let down when he only found a thin, ratty throw blanket.

It was the best he had and all he really wanted was alone time, so he stopped complaining.

He took his boots off, which he'd found to help combat the cold and slipped them to the foot of the bed, leaving his socks on and curled into a crossed legged sitting position up against the head board. He wrapped the blanket mostly around his legs and let it drape over his torso loosely.

He breathed deep as he let his head rest against the wood behind him, his breath creating steam in the cold air, staring blankly out the window at the moon. It was full tonight, and illuminated the forest that sat beneath the house on the hill. He could just barely make out the shapes of moving figures that lurked in the shadows of the trees.

With the cold of winter, the infected's limbs seemed to stiffen up, making their movement slow and slightly mechanical. But nothing stopped them from charging at them in the same animalistic way. They were just as dangerous and just as vicious as they had been in Georgia.

Georgia.

It seemed so far away now, though it actually were physically, it seemed like everything was so far… in the past.

Everything that he'd been in the uninfected world had fallen away, and all he was now was just another survivor. He was no better than the other two, now that the concept of money was out the window, and social status. Some time ago, it had greatly bothered him, but now… it really just made him laugh. He couldn't believe how highly he'd thought of himself, even if he still felt some of that haughtiness, but after that first time the hick from 'Hickville, USA,' saved his life, it had eased, slightly.

The Kid was a Godsend, and in more ways than one. He'd helped him not only survive the apocalypse but to survive _himself_. For the longest time, Nick felt like shit for one thing or another, and without even asking, Ellis had come over, talked with him, reassured him, and for some odd reason, Nick had actually felt better.

So why wasn't he letting him help now?

He didn't even know, but he just couldn't take what Ellis was going to say, what he was going to come up with to make Nick feel better. The fact of the matter was… he couldn't, no. Not tonight…

* * *

Shifting to his side had stirred him. He'd drifted to sleep without even realizing it, still sitting upright in the same position as before. Though this time, a weight that dipped to his right and shifted alerted him he wasn't alone. The moon had been covered in clouds, most likely snow clouds, and Nick felt slightly warmer.

Nick swiveled his head around to the form sitting on the edge of the bed, picking out what was Ellis' features in the darkened silhouette.

"I told you not to bother me…" he whispered, his voice a bit slurred from sleep, but he spoke every syllable distinctly. He glanced down to see a second blanket had been placed atop him.

Ellis barely acknowledged his statement and scotched himself onto the bed, settling down next to Nick, back against the head board.

As he spoke, it was soft, and tender. He sounded assured, like what he was saying were complete truth, "I think he's watchin over us now…"

Nick pulled his previously placid arms into a cross over his chest, not commenting. This is what he dreaded.

Ellis was going to bring _him_ up, and then pull out Nick's emotions and try and sooth him, try and make Nick _feel better._

But it wasn't going to work this time, because Nick could never feel better about what he'd done.

About what he'd done to Coach.

"I'm not talking about this with you." Nick stated sternly, his voice just slightly rising out of a whisper to show his seriousness.

That's something the big man had had that Nick lacked. That voice that just boomed, and no matter what, he would always be taken seriously, and no one would question. In the thicket of a horde, his voice would be the one they listened for, expecting his guidance. He was their lighthouse in the foggy shore.

It almost seemed like Nick was the complete opposite.

No matter what he said, Ellis would only come closer, and ask more questions, get him to talk it out with him. He'd eat and eat and eat away at him till there was nothing left but resolved emotions.

He hated it.

He'd used to be able and stew, create a massive storm inside himself till he burst, lashing out in the only way he knew how to make him feel better, but that mostly involved things that only made it worse.

It was an endless cycle of self-hate and resentment… but with Ellis…

"But you're gonna." Ellis said gently, maybe more gently than he'd spoken before, as if he were approaching a frightened animal.

Damn, did it work.

"Ellis," he started in a voice that clearly said he'd had enough, "I can't do this tonight. I need to be left alone. I can't handle this shit right now." He stated aggravatedly, his hands curling into fists in their cross.

"Then when can you handle it, Nick? Things ain't ever gonna change, and the more time you spend blamin yourself, the more time you've wasted bein-" "_Ellis_."

Nick cut him off sharply. He was not in the mood.

"Leave. Now." He demanded in a low voice, warningly.

Ellis finally turned to Nick, eyeing him in the dark, barely able to make out the scowl on his features. He frowned at him, starting to get truly angry. All he wanted to do was help Nick. Why didn't he see that? He sat firmly on the bed, unmoving despite Nick's tone. It was for his own good.

Nick noticed this and growled, determined to be alone, he uncurled his legs and threw the blankets across the room. He sat up straighter and angrily started shoving at Ellis, trying to push him off the bed.

It surprised Ellis enough that he gasped, his right leg fell off and stomped to the floor as he used it for leverage to push back.

Soon, the two men locked hands and were pushing each other sideways, both of them grunting and growling at one another. It was painfully obvious that Ellis was stronger, and soon, Ellis maneuvered himself enough that he successfully straddled Nick's legs and pinned his hands against the head board and growled down at him, "You need to start talkin to me, or I ain't leavin!"

Nick had half a mind to spit in his face, knee him in the crotch, something to get himself out of this torture. He didn't want to admit it to himself let alone out loud, to Ellis.

"I _ain't _gonna talk at all if you don't get off of me!"

Ellis' grip seemed to soften, just in the slightest, but he still held firm.

"I feel like if I ain't literally wrestlin it outta ya, you ain't never gonna talk." He spoke softly, all his anger and aggravation at Nick's closed off behavior simmering down.

Nick sighed, his head bowing slightly, and went limp. He let himself go placid in Ellis' hold, proving that he wasn't going to fight anymore. He was honestly tired, from brushing Ellis off and from holding it in.

Ellis let Nick's hands down from the head board, and they lingered for just a few seconds, prompting Nick to arch a brow, though with his face down turned, the gesture was hidden. Ellis let go entirely soon enough and gingerly rolled off his legs and sat to the side, still staring at him.

Nick _was _tired.

But he was too stubborn to give.

He sprang off the bed and bolted down the hallway, not necessarily running, but sped to the next room.

"Hey!" Ellis yelled after him, quickly falling off the bed in his attempt to get off it, and ended up sprawled on the floor for a few seconds before he quickly got up and sprinted after him.

Nick had just gotten to the other room at the end of the hall when he heard Ellis running after him, and in a swift motion he grabbed the door and tried to slam it closed, but something caught it.

"Nick!" Ellis grunted through the still open crack of the door he still held pushed open.

Nick growled, pushing with all his might, trying to kick Ellis' foot from out of the doorway, but without his shoes, kicking at Ellis' steel toed boots wasn't doing him any good.

"Go away!" he nearly screamed, but it was no use. Ellis' strength was winning again, and the door gradually came open, creaking and shuddering the whole way, with Ellis' foot scooting to keep the gained space.

Nick finally just quit. He took a quick step back and let the door swing open. Ellis barely managed to catch himself before he was sent to the ground. He bent at the waist for a moment, resting his hands on his knees as he regained his breath.

Nick's chest rose and fell just as rapidly, but he stood still, stood quiet, as he waited for Ellis to speak.

It was at least a few minutes until he actually could, when his breathing had slowed back down. He slowly rose to his full height, eyeing Nick with a certain intensity.

"You done runnin now?" he questioned slowly, his face knitted up in tired aggravation.

Nick wet his bottom lip, still contemplating if he was making the right decision. He couldn't very well keep it secret for long, not with Ellis around. Maybe that was part of why he didn't want to tell him. What if Ellis looked at him differently? What if he stopped talking with him all together?

In all of his silent ruminating, Ellis took it as Nick still trying to stale, and it only made him angrier.

"Do you think I would do this for Rochelle?" he suddenly asked, though after he asked he realized he was going down the wrong track and quickly covered himself, "You're our leader, man, and you gotta keep your head on straight! If there's a problem with'ya _I'm_ the one who has to fix it." He told him.

He looked to the ground and brought in a deep breath, preparing to continue his point.

"I killed Coach."

Nick's nearly silent confession stopped him dead in his tracks.

Ellis' shoulders slumped. He was ready for this, ready to ward off all those bad thoughts of guilt.

"No you didn't, Nick. Coach made a choice, and he chose-"

"If you don't stop talking this fucking instant, I'm going to ram my entire God damn gun down your fucking throat." Nick spoke viciously through half clenched teeth.

Ellis was taken aback, and nearly took a step further away from him. He'd never sounded more serious.

"I lied, Ellis." Nick continued. His voice sounded defeated, almost pleading.

"I was scared for my life, damn it, and I left him there to hold the door shut, knowing full and God damn well that I was killing him!" Nick yelled, suddenly full of anger that he pointed mostly at himself.

"He never gave me some sentimental bullshit speech about keeping you guys safe, or tried to convince me to leave him there. I just fucking left." He admitted, his fingernails dug so deep into his palm they tore skin.

Ellis' jaw dropped. His eyes grew wide.

He couldn't believe this. Was he being serious? He had to be joking, Nick would never…

Nick _couldn't_…

"I…I fucking ran for my life." Nick suddenly couldn't take it anymore. He started shaking, his voice coming out trembling and raw, "I was sure I was gonna die that day…"

His left hand lifted to cover his eyes as he began tearing up, "I barely even thought about it… I just… did it."

The memories came flooding back, blurred by the fear and distorted by his own hatred toward himself. Nick and Coach had gotten separated from the others and they decided to take a short cut through an old factory. They were low on ammo, so they were taking every precaution they could to avoid getting noticed by the infected. That meant some stumbling in the dark without flash lights, and going in circles for a few minutes, but they eventually found an exit. Dusty clogged air was turned to cold, frigid wind as the red fire escape door swung open.

If the wind hadn't howled so fiercely they both would've heard the soft sobbing coming from just in front of them.

Coach had been the one to set her off. She'd been sitting in the darkest part of a trees shadow, and as Coach swung his shot gun to let it hang on his shoulder, the very tip of the butt just barely grazed her.

And she lifted off the ground.

It scared the shit out of the both of them, having not even noticed her there, and so closely. They ran back into the factory, but with her being so close, they didn't stand a chance, not to mention their lack of ammo and man power. There was nowhere to hide in bare building and running was futile.

The only thing they could do was brace themselves against the door, to hopefully stop her from bursting through it. Nick didn't know why that was such a bright idea, because as soon as they stepped away from it, she'd come crashing through after them, and they were stuck.

It had to have been at least five minutes before either could speak about their current situation. The Witch had been banging and clawing at the door relentlessly, only growing angrier with the more time its prey laid only a door away from her.

"Nick, son…" Coach began, a loud panting in his voice, "We ain't gonna make it outta this one." He concluded.

Nick distinctly remembered feeling the urge to puke and punch Coach square in the face at the same time, and all that happened was a spasmed jerk and an incredulous glare at the big man. He also distinctly remembers the sad stare that he got in return.

He knew. He knew that if he didn't do it right then and there, those dark eyes would guilt him into staying to die with the man.

He grit his teeth and turned his gaze away, giving one last thought. The man seemed to hate him no matter what he did, and he was choosing now to be kind to him.

"_You_ aren't…" Nick commented so lowly and with the wind and the Witch behind them screaming, Coach never could've heard.

Nick grunted and with a swift shifting of his feet…

"Sorry Coach." He sprinted from the door, not even looking back as the older man began to shout, not looking back when Coach pleaded with him, tried to get him to come back. He steeled himself as he ignored it, blocked it out of his head. He had a feeling he'd be going to hell way before any of this ever happened, but now it was guaranteed.

When he finally regrouped with Ellis and Rochelle hours later, he spun them a web of lies, how Coach begged Nick to leave, telling him the others needed someone to lead them, and that his time was up. Something so sappy and ridiculous the others had no choice but to believe him. He comforted them both, encircling them in a large hug. As he hugged them both, their faces closed in sadness, Nick's turned a stoic, hard expression. For the longest time after that, he couldn't feel a thing. Physically or emotionally.

Only now had he started to thaw from the actual shock of what he'd done, and only now was he truly feeling the guilt and pressure of his lies.

Ellis shook his head. "Nick…" he whispered out to him, not sure what to say.

Tears began to fall from the cracks in between Nick's fingers, a low sound much like an injured animal emitted from him. His knees buckled and he fell back to sit on the bed, his hand still in place as his body went rigid and unstable.

Ellis stiffened. He had to pull it together. It was shocking news, yes. But he was here for Nick. He was clearly regretful, and if he were put into that situation, he was sure he'd of done something drastic as well.

Maybe not leave Coach to die, but there was nothing anyone could do about it now. Ellis was going to have to accept these facts and get over it. For Nick's sake.

He very slowly approached him then, taking it one step at a time.

When he sat next to Nick, so closely that their thighs were aligned perfectly, Nick allowed one eye to peek out from his hands, inspecting Ellis' motives.

When lean, strong arms started to wrap around his shoulders, his crying only worsened. Was Ellis really hugging him, after admitting what he'd done?

Ellis pulled him into a tight embrace, not leaving any room between the two of them, and spoke softly against Nick's ear that lay so close to his lips.

"You did what you had to do, Nick. It wasn't right, but you weren't thinkin…" he whispered to him soothingly. "You were scared. I get it. I understand."

He didn't know why, but getting acceptance from Ellis… it sent a huge wave of relief through him. It was such a relief that he finally pulled his hands away, weakly, but firmly recuperated the hug, wrapping his arms around Ellis' waist and buried his face into the space below Ellis jaw, speaking into his neck, "Ellis… thank you…"

Ellis' hands slid down a few inches and began to rub his back in smooth circles. Despite Nick's admittance, it was his complete honesty and acceptance of Ellis' touch that brought a soft smile to his face.

It was Nick's thin lips rubbing against the sensitive skin of his neck, though, that sent his heart fluttering and a firey blush along his cheeks.

"I-It's gonna be ok…" he stuttered momentarily, his soothing strokes catching in their action as Nick only pressed further into his neck.

He seemed to be trying to pull himself together now, his sobbing now soft sniffles and deep sighs that would choke up at the end.

He could just imagine though, those sharp teeth nibbling his flesh, his tongue laving over his love marks to ease the pain, teasing him into harsh whimpers.

He swallowed hard, but then realized too late that Nick undoubtedly felt the motion.

Apparently he took it as a sign that Ellis had enough of the closeness and started to pull away. Ellis reluctantly allowed him to slip from his grasp and averted his eyes to allow Nick some privacy as he began dabbing his eyes with his coat sleeve.

Nick hated that he'd gotten so emotional in front of Ellis, but that had been worth it. He'd been so close to him…

He sighed as he let his thumb and pointer finger rub at the bottom lids of his eyes. They'd grown slightly puffy and enflamed. His throat hurt too.

"I could use some water, Sport." He spoke softly, too afraid to bring his voice over a whisper.

After a beat, Ellis hurriedly left the room, going to search their bags for a bottled water.

He loved the Kid. He really did.

It was a realization he came to not that long ago, actually. Maybe a week before winter had kicked in. Ellis had been his usual self, going about a safe house and collecting supplies, when he rushed up to Nick.

"Hey, man! Look what I found for'ya!" Ellis had handed him a pack of unopened menthols. Then, digging into one of his deep jumpsuit pockets, retrieved a sleek, sliver zippo lighter that he promptly opened with the flip of his wrist and then snapped it shut.

"I know how you like to smoke, cause your nerves and everything, and I kinda wanted to give you both of'em at the same time." He drug a hand behind his head to scratch bashfully with a soft chuckle. "I guess it's a little 'thank you' present. Just wanted to let you know I 'ppreciate'cha and stuff."

Nick had smirked and opened the pack right there, plucking one out to light with the zippo and take a long drag. He inclined his head toward the sky, as not to blow it in the Kid's face and smiled. He remembered offhandedly commenting to Rochelle that he only smoked to soothe his nerves during situations like these, and that's why he didn't carry around a lighter. Apparently Ellis had heard.

He had set a hand on his shoulder in a meaningful gesture and laughed, "I appreciate you too, Kiddo."

Of course his fascination with Ellis' looks had started since they met. He'd fantasize about Ellis, almost constantly, borderline _obsessively_. Though liking him as a person had come much later. He'd talked with him during their watches at night, and gotten to know him. Soon, he not only wanted to be around him for his good looks, but apparently he liked talking and joking with him just as equally. It satisfied his obsession in more ways than one, but it also killed him.

Like Ellis would mind having a man that was into him.

He sighed heavily, setting his face in his hands, hearing the far off noise of Ellis' heavy boot steps down the creaking stairs.

He was going to have to get over this. Having _those_ feelings for the Kid was only making things hard on him. When they finally got out of this apocalypse, he'd find a cheap woman and go to town. Until then, he'd just have to keep calm.

Soon, he heard Ellis' boots ascending the steps once again, though they were slow. Strangely slow.

Nick's brows furrowed, and he suddenly wondered just what Ellis was doing walking so slowly. For a few seconds, Ellis even paused, stopping all together… then would pick back up again. What the hell?

Nick stayed seated though, not entirely sure if he should be worried or not.

He breathed into his hands, cupping them to capture all the heated breath they could. He eyed the door suspiciously as Ellis came off the stairs and was finally walking down the hall. Just when Ellis got to the door, and when Nick had prepared to say something when he entered, he had to stop himself because Ellis had paused before opening the door. This time it was a long pause.

Nick's eyes went to slits, highly curious of Ellis' behavior.

Slowly, the door finally opened, and Nick quickly went into the role of playing dumb, like he hadn't just noticed Ellis frequent breaks along the way back. He also noticed that Ellis had taken his toboggan off, his dark brown curls slightly ruffled from the removal.

"Thanks." He spoke up, more trusting in his voice again.

Ellis nodded, shuffling forward and handing the bottle over to the gambler.

With a subtle glance, Ellis decided to sit back where he had only moments before, though just a little distanced apart.

As Nick cracked the seal on the water, he noticed all too clearly how Ellis kept his eyes to the ground, and how pale he suddenly looked.

Before he could question, Ellis spoke, "I, um…"

He coughed a little, disliking his tone and tried again, "I came up here to talk to'ya…for another reason, too." He admitted, his face suddenly very red.

Nick's brows slowly arched high on his head.

He still kept his eyes averted, but he continued, a bit firmer this time, "After what happened to Coach… it got me… to thinkin…" he paused again, a shaky breath escaping him as his chest filled almost completely.

"I don't want somethin to happen to one'a us and I never get the chance to tell'ya. B-But…" Ellis closed his eyes tightly, pure scarlet.

Was he…_confessing_?

Nick quickly set his water on the nearby bedside table, not at all interested in soothing his aching throat anymore.

"I…I really care about'cha, Nick. And I-I mean like… more than I would care about Ro-Rochelle."

Nick's jaw dropped.

"Well, I mean, I _do_ care about Rochelle, I just mean… not in… _that_…way." Ellis eyes still remained shut, but then they slowly opened as he gave a weary glance at Nick's face.

Nick was completely shocked. No, not shocked, blown away!

Not in a thousand years would he have ever pegged Ellis for being _that way_. Not in a _million_ years.

But God, was he relieved.

"Shit, man! I'm-I'm sorry, I shoulda never said nothin…" Ellis began to panic, mistaking Nick's shocked face for a negative reaction, eyes averting quickly to dart around the room then he quickly stood making for the door.

"I'm sorry, Nick! I'll just…go."

But Nick quickly caught his hand and yanked him back onto the bed. He wasn't letting him get away.

Ellis flinched, half expecting to get hit, but what he got instead made him freeze up.

Nick placed his hand tenderly to Ellis' cheek, soothing his panic in one motion.

Ellis had eyed the hand for a moment then quickly glanced to Nick's face. This time _he_ was the shocked one.

Nick gently chuckled, a heavy weight lifted not once but twice tonight. He thought there weren't any more blessings for him these days.

"Who said you could leave?" he spoke softly, bringing his face only a breath away from Ellis'.

Those blue eyes fluttered and he gave a shaky breath as he answered, "N-No one…" and he swallowed, his lips parting slightly. His lids drew down as his initial panic ebbed and a new feeling blossomed in every place he felt Nick touch him.

Nick smirked, and with a motion that clearly stated he couldn't take anymore, he leant forward and captured those plump lips that sat so pleadingly ready for him.

Ellis' eyes slid shut and he hummed appreciatively, fully recuperating the kiss with a subtle lean.

Nick shifted his hand to the back of Ellis' head, curling his fingers into the soft hair, spreading his legs to get a better stance, making their knees bump. His lips were just as soft as he'd imagined them being against his, and as they both slowly parted, Nick couldn't help but keep him close by his head and nipping a few times at that sweet bottom lip.

Ellis' whole body shivered at the feel of those teeth, and without thinking, slipped his hands to Nick's chest, using his dark coat's lapels to pull into another kiss, this one more heated as Ellis was ready.

Nick hardly argued, allowing Ellis to pull him in closer, and as their lips met for the second time, he let his hands wander, sliding down Ellis' form, but his bulky denim jacket frustratingly didn't allow him to feel any of those curves and muscles.

At the feel of Nick pawing along his body, Ellis moaned into the kiss, and quickly hopped, maneuvering his leg to wrap slightly around Nick's hip, and landed himself in Nick's lap. He shivered when Nick groaned and started forcing his tongue between his barely parted lips.

He parted them easily, their jaws rocking together as Nick explored every crevice of Ellis' warm mouth. Nick's hands had found the curve of his rump and pulled him flat against his chest.

With the new position, Ellis very distinctly felt the hard bulge that poked him from Nick's lap. His brows knit together and a low moan rumbled through him and he attacked Nick's tongue with his own while simultaneously grinding in a downward motion.

The sudden motion made Nick's body stiffen and then buck as pleasure washed over him, almost snarling his approval in Ellis' mouth, his hands clenching on the mechanic's ass.

That was it for Ellis and he immediately started unbuttoning Nick's thick coat to pry it off his body in a rapid struggle to feel his skin.

Nick chuckled into the kiss slightly before he pulled away entirely. He slowly wrapped his hands around Ellis' wrists to stop him. As much as he absolutely wanted nothing more than to pound him into the ground till he forgot his name and where he was, they weren't prepared. It was freezing and taking off his clothes didn't sound too appealing, even if they'd be warming each other up in the meantime, but not enough in the below zero temperatures.

"Hey, calm down fireball." He whispered against his jaw, then kissed his chin when he frowned.

"Let's think about this for a minute." When Ellis started dropping a lot more than he expected he let go of his wrists to wrap around his waist.

"I'm talking about right now. It's fucking cold as shit. We might want to do this when it's…warmer?" he offered, a slight chatter of his teeth seeming to express his point.

Ellis perked, and chuckled a bit, "Oh, I thought you meant-" he shook his head, stopping himself and grinned at Nick, "Ok." He answered simply, though he wasn't going to deny that he was disappointed.

Nick chuckled and brought their foreheads together, whispering to him, "Trust me, Kiddo. I've been thinking about this for a long time." And he set a kiss to his lips, dripping with longing.

Ellis hummed into the kiss, though it was more thoughtful. When they pulled away, Ellis had a devilish smirk, "Me too."

And before Nick could even raise a brow, Ellis slid from his lap and dropped between his knees.

"Oh…" was all Nick spoke, and Ellis chuckled as he began to unzip Nick's pants.

"This is…not at all what I pictured-" Nick began, breathing quickly becoming pants as he got worked up over Ellis' surprising assertiveness.

"Just enjoy it." Ellis purred, petting along the hardening length before him.

Nick moaned softly, head tilting back as one hand slinked behind Ellis' head, the other sitting behind him on the bed for balance.

Ellis grinned, unbuttoning Nick's pants to release what he craved so badly. He pulled the pants down just enough to reach inside them and maneuver Nick's member from his underwear.

Once the hard flesh was exposed to him, Ellis' eyes glazed over with lusty haze, and a heavy shiver was sent through him as he curled his fingers around the base.

Nick brought his head back up to watch. Ellis was genuinely shocking him, which only made it all the more arousing.

Ellis started by trailing his tongue along the underside of his cock to the head, making Nick utterly boneless, shuttering and gripping his hair tightly, "God, Ellis…"

Ellis let his tongue tease Nick's head, toying with the slit then finally took it into his mouth to suck. Nick bit his lip and moaned, head tilting back again, his hips giving the lightest of bucks.

Ellis hummed, taking more of his length in his mouth, picking up on Nick's taste. In his life time, he's only had a handful of boyfriends, but with each one, his skills have progressed by leaps and bounds.

The tip of Nick's dick finally hit the back of his throat, and Ellis was pleased that he'd gotten most of him in his mouth. His fingers wrapped around the skin that was left bare, dark curls tickling his digits.

Nick groaned, barely able to restrain himself from forcing himself down the Kid's throat, but settled for another buck instead.

Ellis took that as a cue and began to bob his head, maintaining suction and hollowing his cheeks every now and then. Nick was soon reduced to a moaning, bucking mess, "Shit, Ellis…_Fuck_, that's good..."

Ellis mouth was so warm compared to the outside air, and though now that his dick was wet and froze every time Ellis left it, it was made up for when he came back down his length, and really, Nick couldn't bring himself to care how cold it was.

Ellis felt like he'd had enough adjustment time and began to press Nick's erection as far as it could go in his mouth, then started to relax his muscles, and his length began to slide down his throat.

"Ahhh, fuckin a…fuck…" Nick's fingers were pulling so tightly on his hair it stung, but he blocked it out and bobbed, his nose submerging into Nick's short pubic hair. The scent was overwhelmingly erotic, and Ellis was suddenly aware of how tight his jeans were.

With a groan, Ellis used his unoccupied hand to free himself to the cold air, and quickly wrapped a hand around it to hopefully block it from said cold. He stroked himself in time with his bobs, beginning to moan into his ministrations.

Nick eased up on his hair tugging and set a hand firmly on the back of his neck, encouraging him to take him deeper, though he didn't need much encouraging.

"Fuck, Ellis…I'm close…" he rasped out, eyes starting to tightly shut, a long, throaty moan emitting from him when Ellis began to bob faster.

Ellis hurried to get them both off, realizing just how freezing it was. No matter how quickly he moved his hand, it still froze.

He groaned, not only in growing pleasure, but in frustration at the cold. If there was ever a time that he hated it any more than usual, it would be right now.

He didn't have to worry about it too much longer though, because soon he could taste Nick's pre-cum. It sent his hand in a frenzy as he used his tongue to tease at the underside of Nick's cock, working his hardest to get the gambler off.

"Fuck…SHIT….SHIT SHIT SHIT, FUCK! _ELLIS_!" and a sharp thrust later, hot semen spurted from Nick and slipped down Ellis' throat. A second later, Ellis pulled away to swallow, his hand giving a few last tugs and finally, his member trembled in his hand as he released as well, "Fuck…" escaping him softly as he did so, his other hand gripping tightly at Nick's inner thigh.

Nick let his fingers twine in Ellis' dark curls for a bit longer before he pulled them away, allowing the boy to stand and take a seat next to him as they both came down from their orgasms. Ellis had wiped his hand on the bed sheets and quickly tucked himself back in to escape the cold, Nick doing the same.

"I swear, it better get warmer, fast." Ellis commented, letting one hand drift and entwine with Nick's.

Nick eyed the gesture, but decidedly smiled. He couldn't bring himself to mind it. If the Kid wanted to be with him, he was going to let him do whatever it was he wanted with him. It was a miracle already that his feelings had been mutual.

And he was right, anyway. What if something _did_ happen to one of them tomorrow?

He was going to enjoy this, the time he had with Ellis, whether it was just for tonight, or until they got to safety.

Nick gazed at Ellis' suddenly sleepy figured and chuckled, "If it got too warm, we wouldn't be able to cuddle to keep warm, now would we?" Nick raised a brow at him, and nearly fell back in the bed with laughter when Ellis abruptly turned to him, excited eyes glowing and a small blush spreading over his cheeks.

"Y-You mean, you wanna…?" Ellis wiggled in his seat just a bit, and when Nick only smirked his way, Ellis turned away, giggling.

Nick turned a bit and eyed the bed. It had a sheet over it unlike the one room he came from, and he told himself that it was going to have to do, because he was suddenly too tired to go back into the other room for the blankets, and unwilling to leave Ellis.

So, dragging Ellis along, he lay out over the bed, pulling him into an embrace against him, arms wrapped around his waist as the mechanic's wrapped around his neck. They stared into each others eyes before Nick spoke softly into the cold air.

"Thanks, Ellis…for understanding, and just…everything…" he managed to get out before Ellis slowly shook his head.

"You don't gotta thank me, Nick." He whispered back, smiling lightly. He gave Nick a small kiss, one that was so mind blowingly sweet compared to the ones he'd received only moments ago.

When he pulled back, he only grinned wider.

Nick raised a brow, but Ellis only shook his head, "Good night, Nick." He whispered.

"Night." Nick responded. He watched as Ellis contentedly nuzzled into his chest and began to drift.

It was still taking him a while to really grasp that he indeed now had Ellis as his. It was just… unbelievable.

He sighed, though it was from exhaustion, and let his eyes close as well.

The wind had died almost completely, and the moon sat high in the cold dark, illuminating the night that had grown so silent.


End file.
